My boyfriend abandons me on holidays. Like today - it's Passover and he went home and he's not even Jewish! I guess those are the perks to having your family only 2 hours away.
I must vent - may I?
I was on the subway today headed home. I was in the first car of the train. I could not find one damn seat to sit in! Everywhere I turned, there was an overweight person taking up 2 seats. I was verrrrrrrrry upset. And they knew I was upset because I let out a huge breath of disappointment. Then, this really big woman came in. She was huge. "Precious" huge. Now, I had been standing for the entire trip and she didnt get into the subway until about halfway through my ride. Someone finally stood up and there were 2 empty seats. As i started to approach one of the empty seats, she quickly dodged in before me and sat down, taking up both seats. I stared at her and she looked at me as if to say, "Yea I know I'm taking up 2 seats, but it's not my fault. Now get yo curly ass away from my seat."
ughhhhhh. I'm still mad.
Monday, March 29, 2010
My Blog Is Back
I had to keep writing. Why did I stop this thing? Oh, because I was going through relationship problems and hated the world.
Well I have so many interesting and weird things going on that I must share.
Here are my current thoughts:
1) If I was rich, I would buy enough Almond Butter to last me a year. And not just almond butter, but Cashew, Macadamia, Pecan, Walnut, and Coconut Butter. They're so f-ing expensive and so good. That is on my to-do list when I get my first big check.
2) I am moving out of my grandmothers house and subletting an apartment (do you sublet an apartment or a room? who cares.) I'm moving in with a fellow Tisch alum, a film student. He and I have had some rough patches in the past. He cast me in his film at the same time I was cast in a Tisch Mainstage. My first love is Theatre and it was my priority at the time. Of course the schedules conflicted and so I dropped out of his film. We didn't speak for a year after that, and now I'm going to be his roommate.
3) I received a raise at work. A testament to me I suppose because I've only been working there for 4 months. This morning I sent an email to my boss asking him if I could be a server because I needed to make more money. I haven't gotten a response yet. I'm so scared to check my email! What if he's mad at me?
4) One of the reasons I'm so excited about moving out of grandma's house is because I'll get to cook the foods I like! She's a vegan and alwayssss in her kitchen. I haven't cooked a home-made meal in months and one of the first things I'm going to do when I move in is cook a quiche for Easter.
5) I've decided to allow myself to buy one thing per week that I want, instead of spending all my money in one sitting. So, 3 weeks ago I started out by buying a nice new bra, the week after that I bought suede flats from Aldo, and last week I bought this expensive homeopathic medicine I've wanted. It's sort of fun looking forward to the one gift I give myself each week.
okay, time to go shopping for sheets and hangers.
Well I have so many interesting and weird things going on that I must share.
Here are my current thoughts:
1) If I was rich, I would buy enough Almond Butter to last me a year. And not just almond butter, but Cashew, Macadamia, Pecan, Walnut, and Coconut Butter. They're so f-ing expensive and so good. That is on my to-do list when I get my first big check.
2) I am moving out of my grandmothers house and subletting an apartment (do you sublet an apartment or a room? who cares.) I'm moving in with a fellow Tisch alum, a film student. He and I have had some rough patches in the past. He cast me in his film at the same time I was cast in a Tisch Mainstage. My first love is Theatre and it was my priority at the time. Of course the schedules conflicted and so I dropped out of his film. We didn't speak for a year after that, and now I'm going to be his roommate.
3) I received a raise at work. A testament to me I suppose because I've only been working there for 4 months. This morning I sent an email to my boss asking him if I could be a server because I needed to make more money. I haven't gotten a response yet. I'm so scared to check my email! What if he's mad at me?
4) One of the reasons I'm so excited about moving out of grandma's house is because I'll get to cook the foods I like! She's a vegan and alwayssss in her kitchen. I haven't cooked a home-made meal in months and one of the first things I'm going to do when I move in is cook a quiche for Easter.
5) I've decided to allow myself to buy one thing per week that I want, instead of spending all my money in one sitting. So, 3 weeks ago I started out by buying a nice new bra, the week after that I bought suede flats from Aldo, and last week I bought this expensive homeopathic medicine I've wanted. It's sort of fun looking forward to the one gift I give myself each week.
okay, time to go shopping for sheets and hangers.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Julian the Master Mind
I am babysitting a demon child. He’s a liar at best. Are all 5th grade boys like this? I don’t remember them being like this at all. In fact, I remember having a boyfriend in the fifth grade named Donell Tucker. Perhaps he was mature for his age, but he would never do half the things this boy I’m watching is doing.
First, he re-nigs on everything he says. “Go take a bath Julian.” “Okay… (5 minutes later) I already took one last night.” “Here, I bought you a chocolate chip cookie Julian.” “I don’t eat milk chocolate… (5 minutes later) Ummm, can I have the cookie?” WTF?!
Me: Have any homework?
Little boy: no, I did it at school.
Me: Don’t download any games on my computer
Little boy: okay! (as I watch a machine gun game being downloaded)
The worst was when he told me that echinacea will not only prevent him from getting swine flu (which causes autism), but AIDS as well. Holy Moses. Help this kid out!
Tomorrow I have to leave him alone for a few hours. I’m deathly afraid of leaving my computer so I’m going to take it with me. I can just see it now – spilt lemonade on my keypad. NOT FUN. What will he do for 3 hours with a computer or working television? I dunno, he’ll have to figure it out. I’m over it.
First, he re-nigs on everything he says. “Go take a bath Julian.” “Okay… (5 minutes later) I already took one last night.” “Here, I bought you a chocolate chip cookie Julian.” “I don’t eat milk chocolate… (5 minutes later) Ummm, can I have the cookie?” WTF?!
Me: Have any homework?
Little boy: no, I did it at school.
Me: Don’t download any games on my computer
Little boy: okay! (as I watch a machine gun game being downloaded)
The worst was when he told me that echinacea will not only prevent him from getting swine flu (which causes autism), but AIDS as well. Holy Moses. Help this kid out!
Tomorrow I have to leave him alone for a few hours. I’m deathly afraid of leaving my computer so I’m going to take it with me. I can just see it now – spilt lemonade on my keypad. NOT FUN. What will he do for 3 hours with a computer or working television? I dunno, he’ll have to figure it out. I’m over it.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
10 Things I love To Do
1) Grocery Shop
2) Drink Tea
3) Cook
4) Write Songs
5) Feel Pretty
6) See Shows
7) Go Out To Dinner
8) Plan Outfits to wear
9) Dance
10) Make Money
The last one being the topic of the post. I did my showcase at NYU. Haven't received any responses - yet. It's not the end of the world. I am still going forward with my quest to get an agent. Or at least be cast in a show. That is so important to me right now. To be doing something that is actively creative. I want to be in a show so badly!!!!
I don't think I'm going home for Christmas or New Years. I don't have the time or the money to do it. I have a job here in NY - one I am beginning to really like and enjoy. I work as a hostess in a very cute restaurant. I am getting to be really good at being a hostess and the money is bomb. As are the benefits of working in the restaurant - food, being around other young aspiring artists (we have several models, actors, playwrights, and dancers who also work there.)
A month ago I was praying that I could either find a job this holiday season or return back to NY. Well, I now have both and I'm on a fast roll to getting some of the things I want. It sorts of makes me sad to think that I won't be home for the holidays, but I need to keep my eyes forward on my goals. I'll get home, one of these days.
2) Drink Tea
3) Cook
4) Write Songs
5) Feel Pretty
6) See Shows
7) Go Out To Dinner
8) Plan Outfits to wear
9) Dance
10) Make Money
The last one being the topic of the post. I did my showcase at NYU. Haven't received any responses - yet. It's not the end of the world. I am still going forward with my quest to get an agent. Or at least be cast in a show. That is so important to me right now. To be doing something that is actively creative. I want to be in a show so badly!!!!
I don't think I'm going home for Christmas or New Years. I don't have the time or the money to do it. I have a job here in NY - one I am beginning to really like and enjoy. I work as a hostess in a very cute restaurant. I am getting to be really good at being a hostess and the money is bomb. As are the benefits of working in the restaurant - food, being around other young aspiring artists (we have several models, actors, playwrights, and dancers who also work there.)
A month ago I was praying that I could either find a job this holiday season or return back to NY. Well, I now have both and I'm on a fast roll to getting some of the things I want. It sorts of makes me sad to think that I won't be home for the holidays, but I need to keep my eyes forward on my goals. I'll get home, one of these days.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Happy Halloween!
Everything is better in New York. I suddenly feel more in my skin, more at home, more mobile! Even the tea tastes better. I got up and made white chai tea and it tasted better than it ever had. At home, I would always put cream in my white chai tea, and any tea aficionado will know that white tea is too delicate to really put cream into it (it would overpower its essence), and this morning I made my tea forgetting to put cream in it and it tasted perfect! See, even my common sense makes better sense here!
It’s so funny how if you put your dreams into action, they can come into fruition. Just like my friend who said, “I want to get out of LA and go to Chicago” – she has a wonderful job and apartment in Chicago exactly a month later. And then I said “ I want to get out of LA and go to New York” and here I am trying to make the next steps for my future. It feels really exciting to be doing what you love and in a city that inspires you.
And it feels like fall. That is very cool. I’ve always loved fall clothes – hats, gloves, pretty scarves, jackets, and BOOTS! And fall food is so appropriate here. I had lentils with squash, turnips, and yams – so good!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
The World I Know Is A World Much Too Slow
So here it is - I am not happy with where I currently am in my life. Instead of sitting in gloom, I am going to follow in the footsteps of one of my smartest friends. Only 3 weeks ago she wrote down that she wanted to get out of Los Angeles and now she has a one way ticket to Chicago. I am not ashamed to say that I broke down and sobbed for an hour when I got the news. One of the best parts about being in LA is that she is here, and now that she is getting out, it makes me ravenous to get out as well.
As my boyfriend knows, I am an envious person. I envy other people's relationships, successes, opportunities, and blessings. I am in a rut and do not know how to get out.
So here I will confess all of my short term goals and surrender them into the universe, hoping and praying that they are heard.
I am finding that while I love California, I don't love living here. I feel incredibly immobile here. I am always needing, whether it be a ride, directions, or an excuse. I spent 4 years in one of the most connected cities in this world. I miss the feeling of being mobile, knowing where to go, and having the freedom to just get up and do what I need to do. It's saturday afternoon and I am stuck in my house because I don't have any transportation. It's a joke.
While I have 2 great internships and a decent job, I am not doing what I love. I am not living the life I want to live at 22. I am not making enough money, I am doubting myself more than ever, and I am not having fun. Shouldn't I be having the time of my life right now? It seems like everyone else is!
The one thing I will say is that I am writing more songs than I can keep up with. They come to me in the car, right before I wake up or go to bed, and when I am watching tv. I am slowly starting to wonder whether this is a sign that I should really dig my heels into this.
My search for a second job in dead. I did not graduate from a 4 year university just to go work at the Olive Garden, but at the same time, I need a second income if I want to save and move back to New York. I am getting desperate, but I'm not quite there yet. I will keep praying. I don't think the answer is in the restaurant industry.
"Starting now, I am planting the necessary seeds to initiate a massive change in my life."
Amen.
As my boyfriend knows, I am an envious person. I envy other people's relationships, successes, opportunities, and blessings. I am in a rut and do not know how to get out.
So here I will confess all of my short term goals and surrender them into the universe, hoping and praying that they are heard.
I am finding that while I love California, I don't love living here. I feel incredibly immobile here. I am always needing, whether it be a ride, directions, or an excuse. I spent 4 years in one of the most connected cities in this world. I miss the feeling of being mobile, knowing where to go, and having the freedom to just get up and do what I need to do. It's saturday afternoon and I am stuck in my house because I don't have any transportation. It's a joke.
While I have 2 great internships and a decent job, I am not doing what I love. I am not living the life I want to live at 22. I am not making enough money, I am doubting myself more than ever, and I am not having fun. Shouldn't I be having the time of my life right now? It seems like everyone else is!
The one thing I will say is that I am writing more songs than I can keep up with. They come to me in the car, right before I wake up or go to bed, and when I am watching tv. I am slowly starting to wonder whether this is a sign that I should really dig my heels into this.
My search for a second job in dead. I did not graduate from a 4 year university just to go work at the Olive Garden, but at the same time, I need a second income if I want to save and move back to New York. I am getting desperate, but I'm not quite there yet. I will keep praying. I don't think the answer is in the restaurant industry.
"Starting now, I am planting the necessary seeds to initiate a massive change in my life."
Amen.
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